Try to do what is on other’s mind. Be aware of what the other person wants from us and as far as possible, try to fulfill what the other person wants. What another person wants can be of two kinds –
1) Pure and 2) Impure. It is not necessary to fulfill those wants which are impure; because there is no benefit to the other person in doing so. If his want is pure, and his interest and intention is good, then fulfilling it is our duty. The second point is that his desire is pure, but it’s fulfillment is beyond our capabilities, and we are unable to fulfill these, then for these requests simply ask for forgiveness, saying – I will be unable to do this work as it is beyond my capabilities. I do not have the money, the strength, the knowledge, the capability, the rights and abilities. However, if you have the capability then, to the extent possible, fulfill his request.
Gitaji tells about renouncing desires. Feelings such as, I must acquire so much money, I must be heard by others, may other obey me, these are “desires”. Pay very close attention to that which I say. I studied, listened to many lectures, read books, reflected and contemplated deeply on the messages, and also began to give discourses. During that time I thought – what exactly is desire? It came to my understanding that desire for money-wealth, desire for sense pleasures, desire for name and fame, etc. these were all desires. I thought about renouncing these desires and came up with few classifications and ways to renounce these desires. However, I am sharing with you now what I gathered after many years. I am telling this to you because if you pay attention then today itself these points will be clear.
What I have gained over the last few years is this – “Whatever my mind wishes must happen” this is a desire. As long as a man does not leave this insistence – “whatever my mind wishes should happen”, till then, he will not attain peace. He will continue to burn within, he will continue to suffer and he will continue to be dependent.
It is a very sad thing that nowadays the opposite view point is being popularized. The false notion these days is that if my wishes are granted, it means I am independent. When others fulfill our wishes, there is an appearance of rest and relaxation for us. On the contrary this is a great misfortune! There is an appearance of independence and freedom however, it is great dependence. It is something that one needs to pay very close attention to. It is for this reason I am telling you that even though I was giving lectures for many years, it was not understood by me. You want that at home the son and the wife do as you wish. Brothers and friends, listen and follow your command. Mother and father also do things according to your liking. This thought is extremely destructive. It will not let you realize God, and you will undoubtedly go to hell. It is a very destructive thing!
At one time when speaking to prisoners in a prison, I told the prisoners, that out of your own liking and will (independence) you committed the crime that led to your imprisonment, but now being placed in prison, and undergoing suffering is against your will (rather you are at the mercy of others) and not something you like. In this world everyone is a prisoner. Each one is doing things as per their wishes, and its fruits are endured not as per their wishes. Hell and 8.4 million wombs is nothing but a prison. Why does one get imprisoned? It is because we want to do as we wish, as per our will. There may be doubts whether things happen according to our will, but whether we will get imprisoned, whether we will experience suffering, in these there is no doubt. Therefore, if you are able to do, then do what the family wishes. If what they want is just, it is not improper from the perspective of the scriptures, relations, etc. and we have the capability to do, then we must fulfill it. There will be immense gains from it. You will be greatly benefited, you will attain salvation! However, you should not fulfill a want that is unjust; because in doing so the other person will suffer losses, there will be no benefit to them. We also want to see to their welfare .
One thing I have heard, whether true or untrue, God only knows. There was a saint that used to live in solitude. If someone wanted to get some work done from him, he would do it, to that extent that women would prepare the mortar and give it to him and tell him – Babaji you plaster it, he would do so. He used to carry their pots filled with water to their homes, and used to sweep their floor. Whatever they used to say, he would do it. If others fed him food, then he would eat, or else it was their wish. One woman did not have a child. She served the Babaji very well. She fed him and he ate very well, she gave him clothes, so he wore them. He began to live somewhat comfortably. After a few days, she expressed her wishes that she wanted a child. Babaji said – “No”. She said, all along you having been doing as were told. The Babaji, used to normally not speak up, but this time he spoke up – “only this far.” In other words, I can only go this far, not any further, not to the extent of adultery. By saying so, the Babaji left from there. Therefore one should only do to the extent it is proper. When it turned improper, he said “No”, I only go this far. An act in which we gain sense pleasures and in which the other is not benefited, such work should not be done.
In Gita it is said – “Sarvasankalpasannyaasi yogaroostdochyate” (Gita 6/4). In other words, he who gives up all resolves, insistence, such a man is a yogi. But he who does not give up his resolves, his insistence cannot become any sort of a yogi (neither jnanayogi, karmayogi, bhaktiyogi, rajayogi or any other). “ne hyasannyastsankalpo yogi bhavati kaschana.” (Gita 6/2) . If we learn to fulfill other people’s wishes etc., then our wishes will be easily renounced. Only that should come to my mind and should be said, which others want to listen, by which they, I and all those present (listening) will attain salvation. Day and night, our relationship with all should be towards what is beneficial for others. By doing so we will achieve perfection. We will become like those who have realized eternal union “yogroodh”
This idea is not difficult, rather it is easy! This talk appears to be difficult,
due to the habit of holding on to your point of view. It is due to our pride that it appears to be difficult. As such, it is not difficult. All can do this; householders, ascetics, brothers, sisters, hindus, muslims, Christians, parsis etc., anyone, whoever it may be.
When things happen according to what we want or wish, we become proud, whereas, when things do not happen according to our wishes, then we become angry. Both pride and anger are demoniac tendencies (asuric sampatti). Therefore, he who stands firm on his insistence cannot be saved from demoniac tendencies. Demoniac tendencies are binding, and leads to birth and death – “Nibandhaayaasuri mata” (Gita 16/5). If you don’t have any insistence (wants /desires) then demoniac tendencies cannot come at all.
No work is as simple and easy as salvation. All three – Karmayog (discipline of action), Jnanayog (discipline of knowledge) and Bhaktiyog (discipline of devotion) are very simple. It is difficult to fulfill what we wish or want. Besides that, what is so difficult? Please tell me. All the difficulties that arise, they arise from this one point that whatever I wish should happen
Arjuna asked why does a man commit sins, in spite of not wanting to commit sins. Bhagwan (God) responded – “Kaamesh….” (Gita 3/37). In other words, it is “desires.” After giving lectures for many years, then this point came to me, which made me very happy. We consider ourselves to be independent and we become pleased when things go according to our wishes or the way we want, but in reality it is extreme dependency. The reason is that, fulfilling what we want is dependent on the other. Is someone else fulfilling what we want – is that up to us or what? Unnecessarily, you are becoming dependent. It is said – “Paraadheen sapanehun sukh naahin” (Manas 1/102/3) There is no happiness even in dreams for a dependent one.
Questioner – Maharajji! If our ideas, our views are known to be true, then should we remain firm on them or not?
Swamiji – Do not remain firm on your ideas and views, if they make you dependent on another. If the ideas are true, just, beneficial in present and in future, and they will lead to good, then you may carry out those ideas. However, it is totally wrong when you want the other person to also do the same. We have no rights in this matter.
Questioner: In a family, various members remain closely connected. If another person does not listen, then it will have a negative affect on the other members.
Swamiji: If they do not do then they will have to suffer the consequences. But in that we will not incur a sin. We can share the good points, if they listen, then it a joyful thing, and if they do not listen then too it is a joyful thing. Now remember these two points. If something is just, beneficial to another, will lead to salvation, and if wife, son, grand-son, nephew etc. accept it then it is a good thing, and if they do not listen to it, then it is a very good thing. Now how is it a very good thing? We will not be bound if they do not listen to us, but if they continue to listen to us then we will be bound. I had told this many years back in Calcutta, that if you listen to me, and follow what I say, than I will be bound. I will be unable to leave this place. But because you do not listen to me, than this is your grace, it is due to that that I am independent and free. He who listens to what we say, we will have to come under their power. We will have to experience dependency. People leave their homes and become ascetics. But even while staying at home you can become an ascetic, a renunciate, as the people in your household do not listen to you. We must share those things that are beneficial to us, and to others, whether the other person listens or does not listen.
Narayan ! Narayan ! Narayan !
From book “Saadhan, Sudha, Sindhu” in Hindi 693 by Swami Ramsukhdasji Maharaj
www.swamiramsukhdasji.net
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