Questioner ‒ There is a question from a mother that her twenty-five year old son, is not listening to her, he fights with her ! What should she do ?
Swamiji ‒ Explain to him lovingly that if mother and son fight with each other also, then where else will there be love ? If a twenty-five year old youth fights with his mother, then when will he serve her ? However much a mother tries to control and rule, whatever she says, do not fight with your mother. God respects, he who honors and respects his parents. Mother is held in highest esteem in the scriptures. A mother’s name is taken first and foremost, just as Sita-Ram, Radhey-Shyaam, Gauri-Shankar etc. Even in the Upanishads, first and the foremost, the mother’s name has come ‒
मातृदेवो भव । पितृदेवो भव ।
आचार्यदेवो भव । अतिथिदेवो भव ।
(तैत्तिरीयोपनिषद् १ । ११)
‘Have the feel of the presence of God in your mother, have the feeling of the presence of God in your father, Have the feeling of the presence of God in your teacher, Have the feeling of the presence of a God in your guests.’
It is grave injustice to not listen to one’s mother ! A mother under goes so many difficulties while caring for the child ! She keeps awake many sleepless nights. If the child wets the bed, then the mother sleeps on the wet side and gives the child the warm dry side of the bed, so that the child does not catch a cold ! There is no one who takes care of the child like the mother ! Mother does the work of a mid-wife, a barbar, a servant, a sweeper, she does the most miniscule work, and the most prestine work ! Mother teaches a child how to eat, sit, walk, read etc. ! If you fight even with that mother, then it is a form of kaliyug (age of darkness) !
I tell the mothers to forgive them (her children). I tell them that ‘you have tolerated the excrement and peeing in your lap, all this you have already endured, then even endure a little more ! Mother is an embodiment of this earth ! Food water all comes from the earth. We kick the earth, we spit on it, we defecate and pee on it, then too Mother Earth forgives us. Similarly, you too forgive, and lovingly explain to your children.
Do not speak to your son at the time of a fight. Remain silent ! At a later time, placing your hand on the son’s head, lovingly explain to him. If he listens, well and good ! If he doesn’t listen, then all the better ! Hold in your heart, that besides God no one is mine ! Let us only consider God as our very own. There is neither any son, nor any grandson, no wife, no brother, no relative, no mother, no father, only God is our very own. The truth is that in infinite universes, not even a tiny spec like a sesame seed is ours ! Therefore the remedy is that from your heart (mind) – release everyone. If you don’t let go, then what else will you do ? Tell me ?